Is Your Relationship Overdue for a Date Night?
When was the last time you and your partner set aside distractions and actually connected?
Here are 3 signs that may be saying you need a date night on your schedule.
You’re Playing the Blame Game
It's 6 am and you're getting ready for work. You've poured your favorite cereal and reach in the fridge for milk, but you find none. Your partner used the last of it and it hasn't been replaced. Instead of chalking it up to a busy schedule, miscommunication, or their ADHD, you find yourself blaming them for using the last of the milk. And when you bring this up they get defensive, insisting that your criticism is out of proportion. A regular date night can infuse levity and lightness into the relationship, preventing daily conversations from becoming infiltrated with blame.
Chronic Tech Use
You're watching a movie with your partner, and find yourself reaching for your phone to scroll. Maybe because you are distracting yourself, maybe because you are feeling bored. Chronic use of technology during time together may be a signal that your relationship is needing novelty and a break from routine. One way to meet this need is spending intentional time together and away from screens. Fall tech-free date ideas could include carving pumpkins together, or sharing doughnuts & apple cider at a local cafe while your phones stay in the car. Consider replacing the typical bedtime binge-watch date with a tech-free date once a month.
Lack of Curiosity
Your partner may share about their day, but you don't care. Not because you don't care about them - you're just not as interested in the day-to-day details of their life as you once were. Apathy is a key signal that you and your partner haven't connected in a while. Setting time aside together without pressure or expectation can provide an opportunity to engage in curiosity toward each other. To learn more about your partner's inner world, ask open-ended questions with curiosity and no hidden agenda. Relationship researchers John & Julie Gottman call this "updating love maps." Need help getting started? Download a sample list here.
Stay connected
Sign up for practice updates, free resources, and upcoming events. Privacy is of the upmost importance to us - your data will not be sold.