Addressing the heart of the issue.
Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy
When was the last time you felt connected to your partner?
The ebbs and flows of life are absolutely normal - no couple can be in sync 100% of the time. But without regular intimacy - emotional or physical - couples often start to feel like roommates. It doesn’t have to be this way.
For many couples, after a period of emotional distance settles in, nitpicking and arguments start to ramp up. It may not even feel like you’re friends anymore. Some couples have reached the point where one or both partners aren’t sure if they even want to be together anymore. I am here to guide you in answering that question and exploring the steps it will take to recreate a healthier bond.
You’re feeling disconnected and stuck in the same, circular arguments.
It’s time to try something different.
You’re ready to stop feeling…
Emotionally and physically disconnected from each other
Frustrated by the same arguments without resolution
Isolated and unheard in your concerns
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy can help.
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Within the field of Marriage and Family Therapy, emotionally focused couples therapy (EFCT) is a gold-standard treatment used to improve communication and build healthy, secure attachment in couples. It is more than traditional talk therapy. It is a structured model that aims to help each partner in identifying, processing, and sharing the emotions underlying their concerns.
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In the early stages of EFCT, our main focus is getting to know you - both as a couple and as individual people. You’ll have a chance to share relevant history in your relationship, and what initially brought you together. As you begin to share about your current concerns, I’ll help you make sense of how you get stuck, what’s keeping you stuck, and how to break free from old patterns.
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EFCT is designed to help couples improve communication, build mutual understanding, restore connection, and increase overall relationship satisfaction. Many clients report a reduction in symptoms of depression, anxiety, and complex PTSD after restoring a secure attachment with their partner. EFCT can also help improve self-confidence, emotional intelligence, and develop assertive and empathetic communication skills relevant to all relationships.
At the end of the day, I want you to know:
You and partner are a team.
Teamwork includes listening to hear each other - and that’s hard to do when we’re upset.
My Approach
You’ve hurt long enough. Now it’s time to let it go.
In order to let it go, you and your partner both need to feel heard and supported. Using my advanced training in emotionally-focused couples therapy, we will work together to improve communication, restore connection, and increase overall relationship satisfaction. This approach is rooted in attachment theory and is a gold-standard evidence-based model in couples counseling. I also have experience helping clients navigate conflict with both fairness and honesty. When we work together I will employ a directive and transparent style of communication. I strive to embody curiosity to fully understand each partner, hoping to help you each to do the same.
The hurt and anger that has often morphs into resentment is almost never about the topic - it’s not about the dishes, the long working hours, the criticism itself. That’s why the arguments go unresolved.
Underneath the content is the context.
There are hundreds of moments between two partners that create a bigger pattern of interaction. These small actions (or inactions) lead to big feelings of isolation, desperation, or apathy. This cycle isn’t in the way of solving your problem - it is the problem.
Is EFCT right for you?
EFCT is a good fit for your relationship if you…
Have a healthy foundation in your relationship, but have fallen into patterns of unhealthy communication or resentment that interrupts the connection you once felt.
Are brave enough to take a risk in sharing the hurt, pain, or frustration you feel in your relationship. I will help support your partner in hearing you and responding to your pain.
Are willing to reflect on and acknowledge your own role in the relationship’s struggle. In EFCT there is no “bad guy” that is punished. Instead we will look at the big picture, and explore how patterns of communication have impacted your overall relationship.
